The best leaders I know all share a trait which I believe can be easy to overlook – when things went wrong, they intentionally chose to slow down instead of speeding up. Even if other people were spiralling, or getting frustrated and vocalising their anger, they would take a moment before responding, ask a clarifying question and somehow make the chaos feel more under control.
This was the idea behind two short articles I read recently – The Cool Head in a Crisis and A Small Problem. The one line summary would be “Great leaders don’t react to chaos, they respond”. Composure is not only essential for the individual themselves in terms of remaining level-headed, and emotionally regulated so that they make intentional decisions, but it is equally important in terms of what it signals to everyone around them – a “we can handle this” memo, that the team can hold onto despite the anxiety, nerves and even fear they may be feeling at that moment.
It’s a similar idea to the one behind the popular Thermometer vs Thermostat analogy – a thermometer reflects the temperature of the room, whereas a thermostat sets it. To operate in the “thermostat” mode, leaders must stay deliberate so that the people around them can regulate their own behaviours too, rather than reacting short-sightedly to the latest fire-drill.
I’ve seen it in practice – in a high-stakes meeting for a project with an urgent deadline, despite the confusion and frustrations being vocalised about how we’re not going to make it in time, a simple pause, a clarifying question, and even a light-hearted joke reset the entire room and helped us refocus on what we could practically do next.
Such composure is of course easier said than done. However the key takeaway I’m taking with me is this – regardless of how complex the problem is, how much friction there is with the people in the room, or how irritated I am after delays on my commute to work, I owe it to myself and to the people around me to pause and ask myself What message do I want to convey in this situation? and How can I present myself more composed than I feel? Often the answer is pretty straightforward – a few short breaths, and a pause that can feel uncomfortably long before I say anything at all.
